He meets the Bodi tribe, who retaliate when hyenas kill their livestock, and in a gloriously ghoulish bit, he gets to know the hyenas who hang around a graveyard in Harar, eastern Ethiopia, and will dig up the bodies given the chance. This is a predator, wildlife cameraman and presenter Gordon Buchanan points out, that is not revered, but reviled. ![]() The three-part Tribes, Predators & Me (BBC2) concluded in Ethiopia, where it is said there are more hyenas than anywhere else. “Hey ho, we aren’t hurting anybody,” says Hayley (they’re not into BDSM, then). They also like to do it in the car (500 times in 18 months!) and there was a reconstruction of the time the vigorous rocking of their Ford Focus attracted a passing jogger, who stopped for a look. He “wiggles his bum a little bit” says his wife Hayley, making it sound like a nature documentary, and off they go into the bushes. “Sometimes I’m just walking along and the outside air and the privacy in the woods, and I just start feeling horny,” says Maurice, grinning. But I loved the couple who liked to do it in the woods. ![]() The couple’s “acting” was charmingly bad – worse even than the faux squabbling they do on This Morning – and while there were some interesting morsels (the BDSM dungeon owner reported that the numbers of men seeking a spanking went up during the Thatcher years), I’ve learned more from smuttier documentaries. Perhaps worse is what is left to the imagination – Langsford and Holmes heading off into the woods for a bit of alfresco unpleasantness, hoping to rekindle sparks of passion, though that could just be the static off Holmes’s fleece. Every time I close my eyes, I can see him caressing a robotic sex doll’s lifelike hand. Langsford is as likable as always it’s the images of Holmes I can’t shift: mounting a cross in a dominatrix’s sex dungeon doing an “ooh, ouch” narration over some kind of butt plug suggestively sucking up a strand of spaghetti at the swingers’ place, blindfolded. I haven’t thought about Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes’s sex life for some months – not since she accidentally tweeted a picture of a penis in a shoe. The daytime-TV presenters have been married for seven years, and are exploring ways to deal with the apparent marriage flashpoint, for which the answer apparently is to go to a swingers’ party or see a “sex surrogate”. ![]() I feel lucky to have made it this far through life without too many horrific mental images, but episode one of Eamonn & Ruth’s 7 Year Itch (Channel 5) has doubled the number in just one night.
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